Those Who Can't Do...

"THOSE WHO CAN'T DO, TEACH."

Ever hear that one? Well add another line to the time-honored.

"THOSE WHO CAN'T TEACH, BLOG." I'm really new at this internet thing. I had no idea all people had opinions on everything till I got DSL. Before that, the closest I ever came to seeing that people can think, and clearly express those thoughts, was talk radio.

Or books.

After all, what were my options? Depending on the time of day - or night - I could hear a dialogue (diatribe?) on whether, "Dubya is a NeoCon puppet." or, "Obama is the Anti-Christ." or, "The Lakers suck." All valid opinions I guess, but none could be confirmed at the time of this writing. But now? Five free minutes at work? Read a blog. Ten minutes left at the end of lunch? Read another blog. Boss left the office for the rest of the day? Write a blog! Blog unto others as you would have them blog unto you! And many in a way that would make my College english professor, Betty Dillon, renounce her tenure (Don't do it, Betty!).

For years people said, "Conversation is a lost art." Well, I don't know if I believe that. Conversation, like art (if you count tagging), is everywhere. After all, you're reading this. The true lost art is listening. The thing you do when the appliances are turned off and the only sound you hear is the turning of a page. All this has been summed up for us in the words of the philosopher turned super villain "The Human Ton" (or was it "Handy"?) who said,

"READ A BOOK!"

What? You think great thoughts can't be animated?

Yeah, like Ben Edlund blogs.

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday

My Popularity Is 0

This just in: My popularity is 0.

Zeeerohh! As if I needed proof (see tiny picture, at left). Thanks for the update. A clean slate by any other name, etc.

Oh well.

Guess it's better than entropy. Not "Entropy", the movie that almost killed the career of Phil Joanou, but "entropy", from which we get the nursery rhyme (for the sad children of rocket scientists), "We cannot win, we cannot tie, and in the end we're all gonna die".

(Warning! This is not a movie review, a SciTech article or a children's story. It's safe to keep reading - Ed.)

I know, this intro is probably going to keep my popularity at zeeerohh for the remaining years of my writing life which in this town is more like less than zero. Not "Less Than Zero", the movie that should have killed the career of Brad Pitt (really, Google it), but...

(Warning! Bill Friday has never been popular and therefore has never known when to shut up - Ed.)

The good news in all of this is that, if I've done the math right, I can never receive a rating that isn't at least a zeeerohh. A lot like the song, "Saved By Zero" by The Fixx that really did kill the careers of...

(Warning! Bill Friday will never write on the topics of physics, poetry, movies or music ever again - Ed.)

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday