Cleaning Out The Notebook: Sports Stories I Never Told You

DATELINE: Los Angeles.

Long-time Los Angeles Times sports reporter Mike Penner had a problem. It's a problem many writers experience on a regular basis.

Writer's block.

"I was always a tortured soul when I wrote," the sports columnist said.

Years on the job had taken their toll. Deadlines. Distractions. Decisions. Something bigger than what Penner saw in the mirror each day was at work within him, making his chosen profession a chore, a burden. An insurmountable wall, higher, wider and deeper than he knew how to deal with. And all the while, that nagging, dragging writer's block. The bane of a journalist's existence.

So what did Mike Penner do to break through? To overcome that rock solid barrier that threatened to ruin his career?

He underwent gender reassignment.

Yep. Beneath it all, Mike Penner came to the conclusion that his writer's block was due to the fact that... he was a woman.

On April 26th, Mike Penner wrote his first column for the Times as Christine Daniels.

"I am a transsexual sportswriter," Penner/Daniels wrote.

And that pesky writer's block?

"All I can say at this point is that I am now happier, more focused and more energized when I sit behind a keyboard. The wicked writer's block that used to reach up ant torture me at some of the worst possible times imaginable has disappeared... That should come as good news to my editors: far fewer blown deadlines." http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-oldmike26apr26,0,2709943.story?page=la-home-headlines.

When the story first broke, this reporter attempted to contact fellow Times sportswriter Lisa Dillman, who also happened to be Mike Penner's wife. In interviews with Penner/Daniels, no mention was ever made of Lisa Dillman or her thoughts on her husband's transition. To date, I have received no response from Dillman.

Too bad. Every good story should allow both sides as close to equal time as possible. It was reported at the time of the story that one prerequisite of any interview with Penner/Daniels was that no mention of Lisa Dillman would be made. http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/christine-daniels-transsexual-sportswriter-not-sure-about-surgery-or-sexual-orientation-12766.php

It would have been nice to allow both sides of an interesting story to be represented. Unfortunately, it appears that wasn't meant to be.

Well, at least that pesky writer's block has been taken care of.

DATELINE: Fort Collins, Colorado.

April 21st. The final day of spring practice for the Colorado State University Rams dawned crisp and clear. Today was the day of the Rams' Green-White intrasquad scrimmage, where all CSU fans would have an opportunity to take part in the "Spring Youth Football Festival", where supporters would even be allowed to be on the sidelines inside the Rams' stadium to view the proceedings close up.

Colorado State football fan Mike Thomas and his sons were in attendance that day, roaming the sidelines just like they belonged there.

One problem. Mike's youngest son Caden was there with the other men in the family, enjoying the day, paying only as much attention as any four-year-old is able to. With all the intensity of a late-season game, the scrimmage played out on the field. And with it the competition spilled over onto the existence of little Caden as he wandered unsupervised on the sideline.

BLAM!!!

Colorado State running back George Hill, after catching a sideline pass, ran helmet-first into the small boy, driving him backwards into the thinly-padded brick wall at the rim of the playing surface.

Following an ambulance ride to a near-by hospital, thirty stitches plus a little plastic surgery by a local doctor, and a full neurological exam, Caden was declared sound and released.

Colorado State coach Sonny Lubick gave the kid an autographed football. Mike Thomas said later that Caden would have, "a scar to rival Harry Potter."

No one as of yet has given Mike Thomas a full neurological exam to determine if he's sick in the head or just an unfit parent for bringing a child that small within 20 feet of a hand-to-hand combat zone, then leaving him unsupervised long enough to get drilled by a 200-pound, padded missile.

Of course, Mike Thomas was close enough to his son to give this eyewitness account of the incident:

"Well, there's the sickening thud. I was tremendously worried about the rest of his life. You make automatic assumptions there will be some damage when you see something that horrific."

Ya think?

Caden summed up the moment like this: "It was kind of scary cause I got bonked by the football. It kind of hurted."

In case you missed it, click on the link http://deadspin.com/sports/college-football/ok-get-up-walk-it-off-254799.php

And finally...

DATELINE: Fayetteville, Georgia.

June 25th became a day that will live forever in the hearts and minds of professional wrestling fans across the United States. But not for the sad, sentimental reasons that fans of the scripted, pseudo-reality sports franchise known as the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) might wish to believe. That afternoon, Fayette County Sheriffs found the bodies of wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their 7-year-old son Daniel, all victims of a murder-suicide in which Benoit strangled his wife, suffocated his developmentally disabled son, and then hanged himself.

In 2003, Nancy Benoit filed for divorce and a restraining order against her husband, later changing her mind and reconciling with him.

In a press conference held the next day, Fayette County D.A. Scott Ballard described what Sheriffs' investigators believe took place in the Benoit home over the weekend just past.

Some time on Friday, June 22nd, Chris Benoit bound the hands and feet of his wife Nancy, then strangled her with a cord. Then following day, Saturday, the 240 pound Benoit then, according to investigators, put his son in a single-arm choke hold and strangled him. Finally, on Sunday, the 24th, Benoit killed himself by wrapping a cord around his own neck that was attached to a weight machine in his home gym. Benoit released a stack of weights that matched his own body weight, causing his own strangulation.

Deputies found Bibles placed next to each of the murdered family members.

Bad enough that the Benoit family is dead. Worse still are the details that surround those deaths. Details that, at first glance, seem questionable. Details that, upon further review, move right past questionable, and straight into heinous.

Hours before Sheriffs found the bodies in the Benoit home, a Wikipedia article on Benoit was updated to include news of his missing a match, scheduled at the time of the first murder, telling readers that Benoit was replaced by another wrestler. Then, on Monday, June 25th, at 12:01 a.m. EDT, an additional phrase was added to the post.

"...stemming from the death of his wife Nancy."

This update was made 14 hours, 29 minutes before investigators found the bodies. In addition to that, the IP address of the editor of the entry was traced to the town of Stamford, Connecticut, the location of the headquarter of the WWE. Since that time, police have taken computer equipment belonging to the person responsible for the posts. Police say that this "anonymous editor" could face possible criminal charges if they had any knowledge of the deaths prior to the discovery of the victims.

Oh, and one other thing.

Speculation regarding the part that anabolic steroids may have played in the emotional story of Chris Benoit led officials to investigate, and subsequently arrest, a doctor for regularly prescribing Benoit the equivalent of a 10-month supply of steroids every three to four weeks. http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-spw-wrestler3jul03,1,3341276.story?coll=la-headlines-sports&track+crosspromo (news video is included with this link).

All that, while Benoit continued to pass "mandatory" drug testing performed regularly under the WWE's wellness program, set up to monitor wrestlers for drug use and other health concerns.

So, my sports notebook is empty. And, cathartic as this was supposed to be for me, I think I'm going to need a little more detox from this one. I"m headed to the beach for an interview an AVP beach volleyball player. I'm reasonable sure she has never: a) been a man; b)left her child alone on the sidelines at a sporting event, or c)done steroids. It might just end up being a regular sports story.

I miss those.

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday

"Paristurbia" Opens Today

Early this morning, after serving only five days of an originally scheduled twenty-three day sentence, Paris Hilton was released from the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood for what is being called a "medical condition".

Hilton who, as a child, lived in the world famous Waldorf-Astoria hotel in New York, spent the last few days in an 8 x 12 cement and steel dwelling, isolated from the general population 23 hours a day for her own safety according to her attorney, Richard A. Hutton.

"Because of who she is, they had no choice", Hutton said on Wednesday. Following a visit by Hutton and Psychiatrist Dr. Charles Sophy, the "famous for being famous" Hilton's release was in the works.

On Thursday, presumably after days of crying in her cell, enduring the taunts of fellow inmates, having to be shown by a sergeant how to make collect calls on the jail's only payphone, and wearing an orange, short-sleeved jumpsuit, Paris could endure no more.

According to TMZ.com, Hilton's "medical condition" is not physical in nature.

"The County Jail medical staff made the final decision... based on Dr. Sophy's psychological exam." TMZ also stated that, "Sheriff Lee Baca gave the final approval."

The revelation of this psychological "medical condition" comes on the heels of Paris being quoted in the days before her incarceration as saying she would be spending her time in jail, "reflecting on her life and how to make the world better."

So, barring the overturning of the decision at a Friday, 9 a.m. hearing before Judge Michael Sauer, where Hilton and her attorney will face-off against Los Angeles City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo to determine if the release violates the terms of her conviction and adjudication ("no electronic monitoring"), Hilton will now spend the next 40 days under ankle bracelet house arrest.

Which brings to mind some intriguing possibilities.

With another season of her television show The Simple Life close to being dropped from the E-Network's line-up of Chelsea Handler re-runs, the opportunity now presents itself for what could be, perhaps, the most daring and insightful season The Simple Life may ever produce.

Get ready for The Simple Life: PARISTURBIA.

That's right, with Paris Hilton under house arrest, she spends long days and lonely nights spying on her mild-mannered neighbor next door. With the help of her friends Nicole Ritchie and Margaret Cho (okay, that may be stunt casting, but it's my pitch, so roll with it), Paris notices that her next-door neighbor's old Ford Mustang has a dent in it's bumper - just like a car that was seen fleeing the scene of a murder weeks before.

With the help of Nicole and Margaret, and clues provided by that Sheriff's sergeant from the jailhouse payphone leading them on, the girls overcome the skepticism of mom Kathy Hilton, the L.A. County Probation Department, and Paris' psychiatrist Dr. Sophy, to catch the bad guy (who turns out to be a reporter from TMZ.com).

In the end, FOX decides to bring The Simple Life back to the network, due to the shows ratings that now rival 24, American Idol and the NHL Stanley Cup Finals.

It could happen.

And some day maybe Paris might even grow from this experience and one day "make the world better".

Yeah. And Shia LaBeouf is going to win the Academy Award for Indiana Jones 4.

Hey it's my pitch, so roll with it.

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday

REGGIE THE ALLIGATOR CAPTURED...?

Yesterday afternoon, at around 3:30 p.m., L.A. County Fire Fighters received a call for help from a fellow County employee at Ken Malloy Park in Harbor City. In a small cove at the edge of Lake Machado, there he was.

Reggie the Alligator had been found!

With LA city officials already conveniently on hand at the park for a 3 p.m. "strategy reassessment meeting" regarding the celebrated gator, Jon Murki, chief of the city's Recreation and Parks Department, and City Councilwoman Janice Hahn were all smiles as the two year drama involving the park's most famous temporary resident came to a sudden, and well-publicized, ending.

"We were talking about strategies for catching him when somebody called and said, 'He's out of the lake'."

"It was an unbelievable day - and at the end of the day it was city of L.A. employees who caught him, not alligator wranglers from somewhere else," Hahn said. "Who said we don't do gators?"

But before Reggie could be strapped to a gurney and whisked away to the Los Angeles Zoo, with news vans and helicopters in tow, question were already being asked by some whether this really was, in fact, the Reggie.

The size of this alligator is somewhat larger than Reggie, and there would not have been enough time for Reggie to grow to that size," said Ed Boks, general manager of the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services. When asked who might be skeptical about the alligator's identity, Boks answered, "A number of experts."

"Maybe instead of Reggie One, this is Reggie Two."

Boks' staff at Animal Services was not involved in the apprehension of the reptile.

Gregory Randall, a department wildlife specialist, offered this: "It's not like Reggie was tagged. There's no way to prove definitely that this is the same Reggie."

To quote one of those covering the story for television, Nischelle Turner of Fox 11 News, "Unless he was wearing a name tag that says, 'Hello, my name is Reggie', we'll never really know."

The question of the animal's identity was not in question for the sister of former L.A. Mayor Jim Hahn.

"He looks like Reggie to me," councilwoman Janice Hahn said. "We were petting him, talking to him... I feel like I know him because I've invested a lot of time and energy in him." Just two weeks ago, when asked if she could confirm the identity of the animal as Reggie, Hahn told the L.A. Daily News, "I don't know how we'll ever know."

No word on whether the councilwoman will be asked to confirm the creature's identity by picking Reggie out of a line-up at the L.A. Zoo.

As recently as last week, plans were still in the works to bring associates of the late Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter", to capture Reggie, after multiple attempts have failed to bring results during the last two years. The cost to the county is almost $200,000, not including the cost to prosecute the two men accused in 2005 of dumping Reggie in Lake Machado in the first place, former LAPD Officer Todd Natow and Anthony Brewer, both residents of nearby San Pedro.

Now, while in the middle of a meeting staged in the same park that Reggie has called home for two years, and with costs mounting by the day, the capture of "Reggie" had the feeling of something being staged.

It's curious how, just one day before a busy Memorial Day Weekend was to begin, the capture of "Reggie" went off without a hitch.

Kevin Regan, Assistant General Manager for the city's parks department, said he went to the lake last Sunday and devised a plan to trap the reptile.

"I went down there and found the area he was coming through," Regan said. "All of the vegetation was matted down, and I found this one pathway that it seemed like he was using."

Monday, Regan built a chain-link enclosure with a swinging door. On Thursday, that door was slammed shut with "Reggie" trapped inside.

Mission accomplished, right?

Parks Chief Murki put it this way: "We knew with the weather heating up.. that this could happen and, in fact, it happened real quick."

Real quick.

So with tongue loosely in-cheek, and with lawn chair opened on the shores of Lake Machado, I'll leave you with a quote by a city official from a classic film about civic responsibility, the public's right to know, and holiday fun in the sun.

"I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open, and people are having a wonderful time. 'Amity', as you know, means 'friendship'". - Mayor Harry Vaughn, Jaws.

And when the Fourth of July rolls around, remember...

I'm rooting for Reggie.

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday

Spanning the Globe: All the News That...

DATELINE... JERUSALEM

Mrs. Tzipi Livni (that's right, Mrs.), Israeli foreign minister, is one step away from becoming only the second female Prime Minister in the country's history. Livni, 48, appears to be next in line for the job should current Prime Minister Ehud Olmert resign.

On Wednesday, a poll of Israeli adults in the daily, Maariv, showed that 73 percent of those who responded believed that Olmert should step down.

Livni, who has two sons, ages 19 and 17, has risen relatively quickly to power - first within the Likud Party as a protege of Ariel Sharon, and currently in Kadima, the party set up by Sharon in the fall of 2005.

A former Mossad agent, Tzipi Livni held a classified post within Israeli intelligence, following her graduation from Bar-Ilan University school of law.

Though details of Livni's personal life have been kept just that, personal, it is believed that Livni's rise to the heights of power in the Knesset had nothing to do with a wealthy husband or a desire on her part to find a hobby after the kids were grown.

DATELINE... WASHINGTON, DC

Eli Lilly and Co., manufacturer of Prozac, and Pfizer Inc., manufacturer of Zoloft, said they would comply with the FDA's request, and begin labelling the two anti-depressant products as a potential cause of suicidal tendencies in consumers age 18 to 24.

Antidepressants are already believed to cause increased risks for those under 18.

A statement issued by Eli Lilly read, "We believe this step will help insure that millions of people with depression... can make informed treatment decisions while minimizing the fear and stigma associated with depression."

Shreya Pudlo, a Pfizer spokesperson, took her statements in a different direction.

"There is no established causal link between Zoloft and suicide in adults, young adults or children."

According to Dr. Thomas Laughren, for every 1,000 patients 18 to 24 treated with antidepressants, the FDA expects that an additional five patients can expect to experience suicidal thoughts or suicidal behavior. According to Laughren, who oversees psychiatric drugs for the FDA, these studies were conducted with 11 different antidepressants on more than 77,000 patients.

According to the ads, depression hurts. And, apparently, anti-depression kills.

And in other chemical treatment news...

DATELINE... HOLLYWOOD

Britney Spears will perform the third in a series of "comeback" concerts tonight at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip. Spears, who's last public concert appearance was nearly three years ago, kicked off her "comeback" Tuesday night with a fifteen minute show at the San Diego House of Blues. The following night, the 25-year-old Spears (Thank God she's no longer in that dangerous 18 to 24 demographic!) played the chain's Anaheim location.

The Tuesday gig was advertised as a show by "The M&M's". No indication was given whether the lap dance given to one of the San Diego patrons will be an ongoing feature of Spears' "comeback" tour.

Last stop...

DATELINE... MANHATTAN BEACH

An plain-clothed Manhattan Beach police officer was struck by a motorist as he observed the driving habits of parents at an elementary school in the city.

"We've seen motorists driving too fast, driving on the wrong side of the road at times," according to Manhattan Beach PD Lt. Derrick Abell. "One motorist drove on the wrong side of the road and hit one of our officers."

Other drivers were observed double-parking, leaving vehicles with the engine running for minutes at a time to pick up students, and even making, "offensive gestures to other more patient, law abiding drivers," Abell said.

"People are not paying attention to the rules of the road. The Manhattan Beach Police Department places a high priority on keeping our children safe."

The City of Manhattan Beach is one of the wealthiest cities in the state of California, with a 2006 average household income of just under $123,000.

In a related statistic, the city's schools rank 5th in state academic performance standards.

It's great to know the children of Manhattan Beach are just as driven as their parents.

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday

Sunday Night Baseball: APRIL 22, 2022

Dateline: New York, NY

Alex Rodriguez, elected just this year to the Baseball Hall of Fame, responded to harsh criticism here in the Big Apple, and to the outpouring of celebration in the state of Florida, at the announcement that Rodriguez would, in fact, enter enshrinement as a Tampa Bay Devil Ray.

Rodriguez, in a press release issued yesterday, chose to ignore hateful comments of fans and media in the town where he rose to national prominence more than two decades ago with the New York Yankees.

Instead, he thanked the fans of western Florida.

"You always embraced me, accepted me," he said of the loyal fan base that averaged 16,000 per game during his six year stay in Tampa. "You never cared how I did in big games. For you, meaningless games in April were just as important to you as the post-season.

"No one [here] ever put pressure on me to perform. 2nd, 3rd, 4th place, it was all the same to you, and I'm grateful."

When asked about never appearing in a playoff or World Series with the team that paid him $37 million a year over the final five years of his career, Rodriguez responded saying, "It was the accepting attitude of [Devil Rays] fans that probably prolonged my career, allowing me to earn another $100 million. I owe them everything."

Later this year, Rodriguez will take part in a special old-timers' day in Tampa, to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the D-Rays miracle 2nd place finish behind the Boston Red Sox in 2012. A team of former Tampa Bay players, including Rodriguez, will take on a team made up of other former big leaguers who never won a World Series.

Rodriguez is best remembered for breaking Barry Bonds' all-time record for home runs in a career, shattering the old mark of 761, clubbing 833 in a career that spanned 20 seasons.

In Los Angeles, Dodgers' Vice President of Community Relations, Nomar Garciaparra, when asked for a reaction to the Rodriguez situation, told BrooWaha.com, "I'm happy for him." When pressed further, the former Dodger and Red Sox all-star elaborated.

"Well, at least I won a World Series."

In the six years since Garciaparra became eligible for induction to Cooperstown, he has fallen short of the necessary 75 percent vote from Major League Baseball sportswriters each year. The Dodger executive was the First Baseman on the 2007 Dodgers championship club.

On a related note, Barry Bonds said yesterday that his testicular cancer remains in remission. Bonds credited experimental treatments he received from a clinic just outside the southern U.S./Mexico free border town of Tecate. Bonds sought treatment there for what was originally termed a "sports-related" illness.

In January of this year, Bonds, along with acting Baseball Commissioner Billy Crystal, created the Office of Latent Disabilities to deal with the swelling numbers of former Major Leaguers who have developed health problems in the years after retirement from the sport.

In 2009, Bonds was first diagnosed with subdural, meta-non-carcinoma, now known to be prevalent in users of various synthetic growth hormones, with symptoms typically manifesting in the form of enormous cranial growth.

Coincidentally, the sale of Bonds former team, the San Francisco Giants, is expected to be ratified by Baseball's owners this coming Friday. The sale, to Mexican multi- billionaire Carlos Slim is expected to precede the move of the Giants to Mexico City before the start of the 2023 season.

A slight change in the name of the team to "Los Gigantes de Ciudad de Mexico" are still unconfirmed.

When asked to comment on the team's move, Bonds said, "I never answered any of your f...... questions before, so why should I answer any of your f...... question now?"

Bonds, when asked about the drop in the percentage of African-American players to 1.8%, the lowest since Jackie Robinson played for the Brooklyn Dodgers, said, "Jackie who?". Baseball just celebrated the 75th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's first game in the Major Leagues, breaking the color barrier.

Bonds spokesman Ed Attanasio was unavailable for comment.

Finally, National Public Radio President Ariel Vardi announced late Friday that NPR has secured the broadcast rights to all Los Gigantes de Ciudad de Mexico games beginning in 2023, and running through the 2050 season.

Carlos Slim signed the agreement in a meeting of The 100 Families, outside Mexico City, yesterday.

Slim's civic renewal program, "Traiga mi hogar de la gente" ("Bring my people home") has helped raise the minimum wage in Mexico to $12.49/hr U.S. Slim believes the Mexican economy will support a Major League team.

"The minimum wage in Mexico is three dollars higher than that of the U.S., so you tell me?"

Note: None of what you've just read is true, purports to be true, is intended to be taken as true, or will come true in this or any other lifetime, dimension or universe. All legal actions against Bill Friday, BrooWaha.com, or Nomar Garciaparra, the Los Angeles Dodgers, Ed Attanasio, NPR, all persons living, dead or undead, or anyone else in all creation are groundless insofar as, if you sue, you will prove you have no sense of humor.

Copyright © 2007 Bill Friday