Famed paparazzo Adnan Ghalib did not sit down for an exclusive interview with BrooWaha's Bill Friday. Well, he may have been sitting, but we know that Bill Friday wasn't there.
BILL FRIDAY: Adnan, welcome.
ADNAN GHALIB: Thank you so much for having me. I'm grateful anyone would have me.
FRIDAY: Thank you for being had. Before we begin, who did your hair?
ADNAN: Why is it you believe that I have hair?
FRIDAY: I'll restate the question. Published reports have lead people to believe that, in fact, you do have hair.
ADNAN: If that is what they say.
FRIDAY: How long have you known Britney?
ADNAN: Time is irrelevant when Britney and I are together.
FRIDAY: So you are currently seeing Britney?
ADNAN: Do you see her here now? I see you, I see me. I do not see Britney. You do the math.
FRIDAY: Good point. Are you close to anyone else in the Spears family?
ADNAN: I have not had sex with anyone in the Spears family except Britney.
FRIDAY: I wasn't going to ask that question, but thank you.
ADNAN: And I do wish to clarify something that has been reported recently in the tabloids.
FRIDAY: Of course.
ADNAN: My real name is not Adnan Ghalib.
FRIDAY: Really? And what is your real name?
ADNAN: Antonio Fargas.
FRIDAY: Hmmm. Adnan...
ADNAN: Call me Antonio.
FRIDAY: Right. Antonio, have you told Britney you're doing this interview?
ADNAN: (Pauses) Which one?
FRIDAY: How many are there?
ADNAN: I don't know what that means.
FRIDAY: Do either you or Britney suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder?
ADNAN: I'm not a doctor so I cannot answer that question.
FRIDAY: Would you answer that question if I paid you?
ADNAN: I'm sorry, what did you say?
FRIDAY: You had indigestion and she forgave you?
ADNAN: That's absolutely correct.
FRIDAY: If you and Kevin Federline were both in a forest and he hit you, and you fell...
ADNAN: (Interrupting) I have never had sex with Kevin Federline. I believe Britney has.
Cell phone rings. Adnan looks at the caller ID.
Cell phone rings. Adnan looks at the caller ID.
ADNAN: I need to take this. Hello, Baby. I miss you too. An interview, no... Pat O'Brien is still busy in New York. Hmm? His name is Friday. No, I don't believe that's his real name. I'll ask him later. I love you too. Just go back to sleep. I'll pick up Taco Bell on the way. Bye.
FRIDAY: Was that...?
ADNAN: Brit?
FRIDAY: (Nods).
ADNAN: I'm expected for dinner.
FRIDAY: I understand. Hey, um... could I get her number?
ADNAN: It's going to cost you.
FRIDAY: Name it.
ADNAN: Jen & Tonic?
FRIDAY: Done.
ADNAN: Done.
FRIDAY: Adnan Ghalib, err... Antonio Fargas... thank you.
Copyright © 2008 Bill Friday
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